Never Wanted It To End Like This
by Apothecary Princess
Summary: Just an idea that wouldn't get out of my head. Oneshot, drabble. Raito's truly lost everything now... hasn't he?


Matt ran into the room, his eyes wild and his hair messy. He caught sight of Raito and seized him by the collar, lifting him an inch off the ground in his haste.

"Where are they? God damnit, tell me where the fuck they are!"

Raito choked out a sob, his eyes bleeding salt water as he took in Matt's distressed form. The redhead's eyes were wild, his hair dishevelled. He opened his mouth, but found himself unable to speak. Staring at Matt, he leant in and hugged the cigarette addict as best he could. He knew that this may be the last hug he ever gave the red head. Still unable to form any coherent words, he pointed to a door leading to an adjoining room, and Matt wrenched himself free, and kicked the door open, not bothering with the handle.

Raito stared after him, eyes dead. He heard the screams that were inevitably going to start even before Matt entered, and walked dejectedly into the adjoining room.

Two still bodies lay under white sheets, placed on metal beds. Matt had ripped the sheets, and was taking in the sight of the bodies of the two people he had loved most in the world.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…"

He was sobbing, his tears unfelt by the two. He screamed, his voice forced. He stared with a wild stare, and sank to his knees.

"No, we were going to do so much…"

He kissed dead hands, folding their fingers around his own, using himself to interlink them all.

"You can't do this to me, loves. We were going to go to lego land, and then to that specialist chocolate shop. We were going to take pictures, because for once it was safe. You promised, oh loves, you promised."

Raito just looked on, his eyes streaming. He'd gone through this pain before, and had been picked up and dusted down by Matt. But he'd never had two people so close to him die- he'd never had two people so close to him, full stop. So he couldn't bear to imagine what Matt must be feeling.

Matt was clawing at the cold hands that offered no solace- clawing at the pale skin, hoping for a response. Getting none, he clawed at his own hands, his throat, until the skin was raw and red.

"You promised…"

He kept repeating. All of a sudden, he stopped. Looking up at Raito with an oddly clear expression, he stated

"You know, we had one promise that we made to each other, after hearing a song that we all particularly agreed with. It was an odd song- it was about death and love. I know that you survived when… when this happened to you, but … but we were there to help. There's no-one for me. I'm sorry, once I've done this, I'll have failed you."

He fumbled in his pocket, drawing out a gun. Placing it to his heart, a muffled shot was heard. Matt fell backwards, still holding onto the hands of Mello and Near.

Raito walked slowly over, drenching his bare feet in the pool of blood rapidly forming. He kneeled beside his red-headed friend, pushing back his hair and kissing his forehead.

"We always said we'd all go down together. I just never imagined it to be like this…"

He gurgled, throat constricting and filling with blood.

"Not on some crack-brained mission. Not without me."

"God bless you, Matt."

Raito said, his voice unwavering despite the tears pouring down his cheeks. He pressed the rosary Mello had given him into Matt's hand, closing the pale fingers around it. Green eyes flickered towards him, questioning. He just shook his head, clasping his hands together in prayer.

"God save you, Matt. God save us all."

He sobbed. When he looked up, the nicotine addicted gamer was still looking at him, but no life resided within his eyes. Raito gently closed his eyelids, sweeping an unruly lock of hair from his pale face.

He lifted Matt onto another metal bed, in between the other two. He left them together, as they always wanted to be.

He left the private hospital, stumbling through the streets. It was just before dawn- no-one was out yet. His feet followed the familiar path through the streets of Tokyo, until he came to the familiar building.

Staggering up the stone steps, he realised that his clothes were stained with not only Matt's blood, but his own. The bullet in his side- he'd almost forgotten about it. Well, crossfire really was a dangerous thing, and he didn't plan to survive the dawn.

He fell to his knees by the altar, staring at the patterned ceiling.

"Why? Why did you betray them? I understand me, I understand L, but… but…"

He faltered, only to renew his speech with desperation and despair.

"They're KIDS damnit. God, God, whoever you are. Why did you forsake us? Why did you forsake those who needed you most? If humans are all made from the same mould, why do we kill and hurt and bleed? Why can we not be like you, who is lord of all? WHY? Why am I alive? Why am I not God? Why can't I do anything as the people I love disappear, one by one?"

His questions were left unanswered. The church could not reply. Nor it seemed could his father, his mother, his sister or any of his supposed friends. No-one could figure him out. The only ones who could have answered his questions were the ones wrapped in anonymous white sheets, buried in the earth with nothing but a grey slab of a headstone with their aliases engraved on the front.

But even they lay silent.


End file.
